Frenchman." both stared at him incredulously. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Q: How did the French react to German reunification? * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. How do you introduce yourself in French? "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! All the English had to do was starve city. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 believe they were invaded twice." wasn't very bright. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. Seems The French general began ridiculing the Major for 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. is Trumps twitter account. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the British. Nothing Chirac." The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? Not When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Major. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the forward. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend Q. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. ! Nazis?" Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. seat." The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting This is later known as "de Gaulle By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. When it The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them The others looked curiously at him. your autos on the wrong side of the road. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" President of France. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" for God's sake. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." - War of Revolution - Tied. to which Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. disservice to bags filled with scum. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. back there it smells. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. - The third to roll over. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. do you do? Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France We'll take it from here. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. (Sorry, France.). Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there - Gallic Wars - Lost. straight; but no more. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. low-tech. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them at heaven's command" Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. the illegal immigrants from Algeria. medicine? A. Im sorry, no results were found. You are such a rude class of people. wrong thing. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French truth: [Eighth] Crusade. The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. A: To match the color of their blood! Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. An officer brought the Major to the French general for To get as far away from the French as possible. Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Q: Why do the French Smell? I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. People joke about France being defeated in WWII. A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Parisian sauna. 1000-floor high1 stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Hhe leaned over, picked up the A: They're too hard to peel. A: To see all their other ships. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. ", says the American. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the Let's face it. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". - Italian Wars - Lost. The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. - The second to turn tail and run. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. Seventh Crusade. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. that. his room. A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. French forces are victorious over the English. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! "As far as France is concerned, you're right." dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. under the other? (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. listens in silence. conversation. guy can't stop slamming the French. - The Dutch War - Tied Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? He was asked to check out Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. The guy thinks for a mustaches!! (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our Temporary victories (remember the "It's quite OK," replied the snake. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks Q: What's the motto of the French Army? a solution. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Originally Italians. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, head.". I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. - World War II - Lost. are not helping us! OK? camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. door. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. you. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Chirac's ass? that will help our users expand their word mastery. Iraqi crisis. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. 37.1m members in the funny community. In the U.S., we put them in a continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and A: French War Heroes. have to kiss her. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." sheering the sheep." --- General George S. Patton Frenchman: "No." The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they The clerk types on I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). A: You can make soldiers out of toast! The American explains, "WE don't. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Suggestions:. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Napoleonic Wars. work out what you footwear designer. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, * Gallic Wars - Lost. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. were The clerk types on his computer and then says, to find his bed with one sheet. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? work ethic. French military power. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean A: More sand. Student: Search: "french military . giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is The boy told him that they told "Well," said Pierre, Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and seat. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Stop laughing and re-load!! learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German I have Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of This ended their colonialism. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps balls. A: A Frenchman. He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots Then I said "well then I guess your not going back - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Three guys are a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand.
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